Just your average breakdown

I know I've already written about the quarter life crisis that everyone goes though, but damn its been hitting me hard lately. I know I am currently a raging hormonal mess but things are really weighing on me. On top of my already overpowering emotions, my very best friend is leaving next month for Africa with the Peace Corps for 27 months. I'm sure that has something to do with my frantic thinking. I can't even fully explain what I am feeling but I am going to try my hardest to get it out of my brain and onto this blog. 

I've been feeling like I'm just going through the motions day after day and not really receiving any fulfillment. I wake up, go to work, get off, watch tv, then go to bed. I do that same routine every single day.  A few times a week I will throw a run in there to spice things up. I often wonder if I am holding myself back by being in a such state of consistency. 

I don't know. I don't even know if I'm happy or if I'm just in a state of being. It's almost like nothing matters to me anymore, mostly because I'm not sure if I matter to anyone anymore. Does that make sense? I guess I am just so comfortable with where I am that I have forgotten what it feels like to step outside of my box. I'm not sure at this point if I want to step outside my box or just break the damn walls down and find something completely new. But something has to give. I can't keep wandering around like a mindless zombie waiting for something to bring me back to life. 

I think it's easy to succumb to the feeling of being lost and lonely even when you're surrounded by people. It's almost as if things are a little one sided in my eyes.  For instance, I care about the people I surround myself with. I try my hardest to keep in touch with people I don't get to see everyday. I do my best to include everyone in everything that's going on.  But I feel like I'm never really noticed or thought about a lot of times. It's almost like I'm only recognized when somebody needs their hair done. Which naturally, makes me feel inadequate as a person. As if I don't belong.  I question if I am not important enough, funny enough, pretty enough or intelligent enough to want to be around. Now of course, I know these people love me and i am simply being hard on myself. It's just how I feel and I can't change that with my current state of mind.  I feel like I have always been a very confident and outgoing person but sometimes it's really hard to maintain that image when I question myself on so many different things.

People, especially those twisted minds of twenty something year olds, just don't have it all together quite yet. I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to become. I know that life isn't meant to be perfect all the time. I know that I have to go through these things. I have to have these emotions that will  mold me into a stronger person in the future. As much as it sucks and as hard as it is.. It's inevitable. 

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

James 1:2-4

Until next time, 

KND

The Impact of Philanthropy

I can honestly say I would not be who I am if I went through college without joining my Greek organization. In light of my organizations philanthropy event coming up this week I have been thinking a lot about how much of an impact the organization had on me.

Through my four years as a Chi Omega I have met my best friends and future bridesmaids. I have formed a beautiful family that I can literally call upon at anytime.

Being in a Greek organization is so much more than just parties, formals, and mixers. Obviously I have incredible memories made through events like that.  But when I really think about what my organization means to me, I think about the lives that I have been fortunate enough to impact through The Make A Wish Foundation. I truly learned the value of life.  I can now comprehend what it means to make a dream come true and put a smile on the face of someone who has no hope.

My junior year of undergraduate school, I was elected  Chi Omega Women's Fraternity's director of philanthropy.  I organized our third annual Wings For Wishes event at Austin Peay State University.  In a nutshell it's an all day event where local businesses, organizations, and surrounding communities come together for all you can eat wings and silent auction to raise money for The Make A Wish Foundation.  It took countless hours and lots of hard work from my sisters.  Never did I think it would pay off in the ways it did. After the money had been raised our chapter was able to work directly with families to grant the wishes of terminally ill children in our area.

I can remember balling my eyes out on several occasions when I was able to work with Russ.  Russ was our wish child (who was actually our age). He was spending his life after college protecting our country as a marine.  Unfortunately, he fell ill and was diagnosed with leukemia. Not only did he have to go through that battle, he also had to have almost every major joint in his body replaced because his chemo treatments were so damaging to his body. Yet through all of this, he was still such a positive person. It made my daily struggles meaningless. It put life in perspective.

Until you can actually work that closely with the people your organization impacts, you will never know just how valuable you are to them.  The things we do as Greeks effect people's lives. It gives them and their family hope. It brings them closer and inevitably brings you closer to the people you love.

Being a Chi Omega and working with Make A Wish changed who I am.  It made my heart bigger and  stretched my hands out further to help others.  The values on which my organization is based mean more to me than ever before. It is so easy to see now how gifted and blessed we are.  We only get one life on this pain stricken world. Being a Chi Omega has made me leader and shown me how easy it is to be the person that can ease pain, even for just a moment.

With that, It's so easy for organizations to forget what philanthropy events are really about.  It's so easily turned into a battle between each other.  People get so flustered when they don't win an event or something isn't done the way they think it should be done. Competition is a good thing but when it comes to philanthropy events the only competition you should worry about is the one with yourself. What can YOU do to help more? What else can YOU do to make a difference?  If you put things into that type of perspective the reward is so much greater and you can fully understand the impact you and your sisterhood or brotherhood can have on this world.  

Good luck to my beautiful sisters this week. Each one of you has what it takes to make a difference. Each one of you were chosen because you have the characteristics that upheld the quality woman our founders stood for. I am always proud of the things y'all accomplish and I enjoy seeing the legacy of our symphony live on through you.

"to work earnestly, to speak kindly, to act sincerely" 
LICO

Until next time,
KND

a tribute to my best friends

Excuse this post if everything is misspelled and the grammar is even worse than usual as I am writing this through tear filled eyes.

I'm at my apartment here thinking about the amazing past seven days I have had on a cruise with some great friends. While I had an awesome time, it just wasn't the same vacation I was used to. A very big part of me was missing when a few of my best friends couldn't make the trip this year.  It is just so crazy to think about how fast life really does go by. This time last year, I was on my senior spring break without a single care in the world.  I really was living young and wild and free. But when I think about me and my friends and where our lives are heading I cant help but shed these selfish tears. 

My best guy friend, Trent, who I spent nearly every single day with for the last couple of years has moved to Memphis for optometry school.
My very best friend and soul mate, Gabi, is leaving in a few months to serve in Zambia with the Peace Corps for two years.
Another best friend and old roommate, Erin, has moved to Alabama where shes studying to be a vet tech.
My current roommate and of course another best friend, KatieJo, just landed her first real corporate job here in Nashville.
Another great friend, Kara, is totally consumed in working her way to the top with her career. Shes probably one of the most driven people I have ever met.
A few other friends, Sarah, Britbrat, Michelle, and Taylor are working on moving to Nashville while they continue higher education and pursue new jobs.

We are quickly (too quickly) becoming the generation that is growing up, moving away, getting married, and having babies. I'm attending baby showers and bachelorette parties when I so vividly remember going to sweet 16s. I am so proud and happy for each and every single one of my friends and where they are going in life.  We have always been the group to go out and do what we want. We take life as it comes and we always keep our heads held high through each battle we struggle with.  I am so blessed for the people that God has put into my life.

But I cant lie, as happy as I am about everything happening in each of our lives, my heart breaks each time I think about how life will just naturally put distance between us.  As corny as it may be, I have no idea where I would be if I didn't have my friends to shape me into the strong and confident person I am. It scares me to know that although we will defiantly stay in touch as the years go by, I wont have each of you at my fingertips. I wish the best for everyone through all of our future endeavours. With that, call me selfish but I just want to keep each of you here with me forever.  As with all groups of friends, we will always have our traditions and we always have an unbreakable bond.  Our group is special in my eyes though. We were truly made for each other.

You know what they say.. distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Until next time,
KND

Taking Life For Granted: the shock of death

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”
– Gilbert Keith Chesterton
 

Today I got the news that a young man my age in my home town  had unfortunately passed away.  The tragedy of losing such a young life can shake you to your core.  As I took a moment to send a prayer up the big man for his friends and family, I thought to myself how easy is it to take life for granted.  It saddens me that it takes such a misfortune to make me realize how much I take for granted.  I always feel so confident when I lay down at night that I am going to wake up in morning, that I am going to see my family and friends again, that I will have another chance to tell them I love them.  The fact is, that doesn't always happen. It makes me cherish all the time I have had with them over the past 22 years of my life. It makes me want to call each and every person who has impacted my life and tell them how much I appreciate them.

I am so fortunate to have what I have in life. I have two jobs doing what I love to do. I have the most selfless parents and wonderful siblings. I have the best friends a girl could ask for.  I have an education (and the debt that goes with it). I have a handsome guy who always makes me smile. I have a roof over my head and a bed to lay in. I have good health and most of the screws in my head are tight. I have all of these things and much more. Yet, I don't do much to show my gratitude for all of it. Sure, I say my prayers at night, but is that enough?

I want to just take a moment and thank you. Yes, you. Because I am positive that you have had some sort of effect on my life. From a simple hello to make my day a little brighter to lending me a shoulder to cry on when I feel like my world is falling apart.

If by chance there comes a day when I am unexpectedly no longer in this world, I hope that I can leave a legacy of compassion for the people I surround myself with.

As for the friends and family of Cody, there is nothing that can be said to make the news of his death any easier to understand.  I didn't know him extensively. I had only hung out with him a handful of times.  From those few times, I learned that Cody was a free spirit. He lived his life to fullest.  He lit up the room with his radiant smile and enthusiasm.  You know what they say.."only the good die young".  My thoughts and prayers are with all who were affected by the loss. 

"So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord." - 2 Corinthians 5:6-8

Until next time,
KND

 

Sisters Before Misters

What happened to sisters before misters? Chicks before dicks? Holes before poles? Most people respect the girl code and try to balance the relationship with their boyfriend and the relationship with their group of friends. 

I think one of the most annoying things to females  is to have a seriously bad betch go rogue on friends because of a dude.

The Lana Del Rey song "This is What Makes Us Girls" inspired me to write about this tragedy.  One line says, "we don't stick together cause we put love first". It makes my skin crawl. There is absolutely no reason to stop hanging out with your girl friends because you are in a relationship. Chances are there are other girls in your close group of friends that have boyfriends as well. Honestly, it's a testament to your loyalty.  Those friends that you throw to the back burner are the ones that will be there when your heart is broken. Quite frankly, you don't deserve the shoulder they let you cry on. 

Besides, who wants to spend every single moment with one specific person anyways? I understand that new relationships are full of lust and desire to be with that person, but give it a rest. I'm not saying taken girls should have a ladies night, get wasted, and dance all over dudes behind their mans back. I'm saying don't stay locked down with no breath of freedom.   And honestly, if you feel like you can't take that breath of freedom and spend some time with friends then you need to reevaluate the person you're in a relationship with in the first place.

Those girls that usually disappear with each new relationship are also the ones who do nothing but talk about their boyfriend when they actually do come around. No relationship is perfect so why try and force that fake perception on the friends that just want to hang out with you because you are awesome? 

There's even some girls who take their boyfriend everywhere they go. I mean, if your boyfriend is he only guy at the dinner table you should probably open your eyes and take the hint.  Bringing him out everywhere doesn't make you any better than the girls who stay away with their boyfriends. What's wrong with going out and having a good time and meeting up with your man later on at night anyways? 

 I'm sure you know exactly the type of person I am talking about. Lets go ahead and throw this out there too- if you get pissed at this blog post then you're probably just guilty of it. You should definitely take some time and try to reconnect with your friends.

Until next time, 

KND

Bitches get shit done

When it comes to hormones, emotions, and peer pressure sometimes being a woman can seriously suck. But the best part of being a woman is we can take it all and still go out into the world and get shit done. Being a woman is such a powerful thing that can reap countless benefits.

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou

Just like most people in the south, I indulge each week in the ABC show Nashville.  Hayden Panettiere plays a sassy controlling young country singer who takes full advantage of her looks and power. At the beginning of the season I really just wanted to punch her.  But the more I think about it, the more I would kind of like to be a little more like her. She knows what she wants and she's willing to do whatever it takes to get there. As Tina Fey would say, "bitches get shit done".  She sang a song called "I'm a Girl" a couple of episodes back that kind of resonated why being a woman has its perks. One of the verses says, "I'm a girl I got skills I can dance all night in five inch heels can make you feel like the luckiest boy in the world..". Another says, "I'm a girl oh yeah I can get a free drink from flipping my hair". How true is all of that? I mean, I can't personally wear five inch heels with out making a fool of myself..but you get the picture.

We know what we want in life.  We have dreams and goals.  We are always willing to take the steps needed to achieve them. Not only do we have these ambitions but we also have the emotions that push us to work harder.

Alicia Keys' song "Girl on Fire" kind of sums it all up.

 "Looks like a girl, but she's a flame, So bright, she can burn your eyes, Better look the other way, You can try but you'll never forget her name, She's on top of the world, Hottest of the hottest girls say"

Another good example is Lana Del Rey's "Radio"

  "American dreams came true somehowI swore I'd chase 'em till I was deadI heard the streets were paved with gold.."

Clearly I love music and it inspires me in so many ways. Here lately it has just been reminding me to be the strong motivated woman that I know I am. I love that. It makes me want to work hard and be a better person to reach the goals I have set out for myself and my career. It makes me want to get shit done.

Until next time, 

KND

Stupid Cupid Laws of Love

Let me start out by saying a big fat HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Let's be honest, Valentines Day is right up there with New Years Eve for the most overrated holidays.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's super awesome to get showered with candy, flowers, and jewelry. But I don't think guys should need a holiday to celebrate their women. Sounds like something a cat lady would say, right? Oh well. I'm content with the way I think because Adam Levine said the same thing on the E! Red carpet before the Grammys.

But what really bothers me are the girls that sink into depression on Valentines Day if they don't have a significant other. I mean, I'm single-ish right now and I am totally excited to spend my night with three of my really beautiful single friends. Why? Because those are the people that make me smile. Valentines Day is all about love. I firmly believe everyone should spend the day doing things that they love.  Not a single soul should spend the day picking his or her brain about what could be wrong and why they are single. You are perfect just the way you are. It comes down to the fact that God has a plan for every aspect of your life.  That means he has a grasp one your love life as well. I know just as well as anyone how hard is it to let that sink in and be content. Don't let this one day of the year define you.  Don't let it effect your attitude about yourself or your perception of couples. 

 So if you're one of those people who loathes Cupid for not shooting you in the heart with an arrow this year just think about everything you have in life that you love and that makes you smile.  Get out of bed, put some clothes on, and go spend the rest of this beautiful day doing things that make you happy. Celebrate the awesome you that you so naturally are.

Until next time,
KND 

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Reasons to watch The Bachelor

If you've never seen at least one episode of The Bachelor then do yourself a favor and tune into ABC at 7 on Monday nights.  The show is like a bad wreck you cant keep your eyes off of.  This show is the reason men think women are crazy.  Most of these girls are man eating, manipulative, dramatic, and pretty damn desperate. I say girls instead of women because there is not one single person on the show who conducts herself like a woman. It's really sad. Yes, Sean Lowe is very attractive.  I feel like  its not just hearts he melts, it's brains too. Can these people really be that insane? Tierra- that goes out to you, girl.

But really, if you ever just want to feel good about yourself watching The Bachelor is a great way to do so. First off, the fact that these people think he's going to find love by dating 20 different girls at one time is just dumb. If it wasn't being filmed by a national television show Sean would be considered a player and girls would despise him. Not only that, but girls definitely would not drool over him in ways which they do. They say things that quite frankly just freak me out. They have only known him for about a month and consistently talk about marrying him. Who does that? Why are these girls so desperate? They are all very beautiful girls physically.  It's just the mental part they lack in. Last time I checked though, mental stability is kind of important. (Sorry about your luck, Sean). These girls talk about "winning" The Bachelor. So...it's a game? Fools. I would also like to add the fact that all these dates are very extravagant. News flash, that is going to end as soon as the show does even if Sean gives them the final rose. It just leaves an inevitable failed future. For that, all I can say is- sucks to suck.

So if you have had a bad day just remember these things:
1. You're not a contestant on The Bachelor
2. You're not sharing a guy with 20 girls
3. You're not living with 20 strange girls
4. You're not telling a guy you barely know that you love him
5. Your future doesn't depend on a rose
6. The world isn't watching your every move
7. You probably don't have judgmental people like me blogging about you
8. You didn't have to drink freshly squeezed goats milk to go on a date
9. You're not that desperate to find love
10. You're not crazy

Preach it Bruno

Have you ever heard a song on the radio that twists your brain in such a pretzel that you have to immediately download it on iTunes and obsessively listen to it on repeat? Well, Bruno Mars has done that very thing to me with his latest hit, "When I was Your Man". Let me just start by saying how talented the guy is in general. He has such great songs that always get stuck in your head. Not to mention he's like the perfect combination of Lenny Kravitz and Michael Jackson. Am I right or am I right?

So this new song of his..
It's all about a guy who sees a girl he used to be with out with another man. The song is him reflecting on all the things he should have done to keep her around. "I should have bought you flowers and held your hand, gave you all my hours when I had the chance, take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance"
So this made me think about all the things I should have done in life. Not just relationship wise (still single... Sup fellas?), but life in general. Opportunities have an expiration. There's so many things I wish I had I done.  This ranges from big things like studying abroad while I was in college to the smallest things like going to parties with all my friends. What is it that holds us back? Fear? Anxiety? Risk of failure? Laziness? I suppose its different for everyone. But when will you have your Bruno Mars epiphany? How long is it going to take until you swallow your pride and realize all the things you've missed out on? The opportunities that we don't take are being swept away by others. Now those people are living the life we wish we were. The last part of Bruno's chorus says "now my baby's dancing but she's dancing with another man". I've made a promise to myself that I won't let other people take my dreams from me. I'm going to embrace the opportunities that are put in front of me from now on. I charge you to do the same. Don't sit around and wait for life to happen anymore.

If you haven't heard this song then you need to get on iTunes or YouTube pronto and give it a listen. I may not have the most perfect singing voice (or be able to carry a tune in general) but this song is one of those you can't help but get your car karaoke going on.

Until next time,
KND

What is happy?

The reason I went to New Orleans two weeks ago was to attend a conference called Serious Business.   It's hosted by Neill Corporation which are the distributors for Aveda products.  In the nearly five years I have been an Aveda stylist I had never attended the conference before but after all the great testimony from my coworkers I decided to give it a go.  It's not a conference where we learn new color formulas and cuts.  It's more of a inspirational and motivational conference. This year the theme was "I'm here" and it was centered around happiness.

Everyone knows someone who is always negative, always complaining and always frustratingly unhappy with life.  You know the type. Everyone is having a great time but that one negative Nancy manages to bring down the mood. If you can't think of that person then chances are its you. So listen up.

One on the most valuable pieces of information I retained was that your happiness effects other people's happiness. We are wirelessly connected to each other.  what I mean by that is if you're down in the dumps it's going to inevitably bring everyone else's mood down too. If you're complaining about something then it's going to take away part of the happiness from the people you're surrounded by.   We cannot be truly successful unless we fill our minds with optimism. Each day we should remind ourselves of the things we are grateful for.  The easiest way to do this is to surround yourself with concrete social support who will generate a sustainable positive change. If we are inspiring and think big we can generate the genuine positivity that this world so desperately yearns for. 

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it". - Michealango Buonarroti

In one of the breakout sessions we listened to a chiropractor named Dr. Eric Snow.  He was a firm believer in that your mental state effects your physical state. If you constantly push yourself to be the best you that you can be it will surely lead to a positive physical state.  What we put into our minds and what we put into our digestive system is a direct correlation to the condition of our body's health. 

"The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest the patient in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease." -Thomas Edison

One of the key note speakers was this little red head firecracker named Erika Napoletano. Have you ever had a moment when you instantly click with someone and think "that's my new best friend!"?  Well I felt that connection as soon as she walked on stage and said, "can I get a hell yeah?" then followed up with "can I get a fuck yeah?".  She talked with us about how being unpopular has its advantages.  She expressed her desire for people to embrace their individuality and uniqueness.  Not everyone's brain works in the same way and its important for you to understand that you work the way you do for a reason.  I learned that we can never be sincerely happy with our lives until we accept who we are. She also drilled us on the fact that sometimes it's ok to just say, "you know what.. Fuck you".  She has a book titled Unpopular. I haven't had the chance to read it yet, but its defiantly on my kindle reading list.

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken" -Oscar Wilde

I took this and so much more home with me when I left Serious Business. I felt rejuvenated, motivated, and inspired.  Over the two days of the conference my mind had spun faster than I could keep up.  Being happy isn't just a feeling. It's a state of being. It's a lifestyle.  Being healthy mentally, spiritually, and physically are the most important things in life. If you cannot successfully be a happy person then you simply cannot be successful.

Until next time,
KND

New Orleans

My weekend-part 2

So after my date with Justin Bieber and a very small amount of sleep later, I headed to the airport for my first flight ever. I was headed to New Orleans to meet up with my Lyndon's Salon family who had flown up the night before. I was really nervous and my stomach was in knots. Have you ever heard Alanis Morrissette's song "Ironic"? There is a part in the song where a man had gone his whole life without flying and the one time he decides to go it crashes. Yeahhh.. I was positive the plane was going go all Alanis on me. But I survived. Thank goodness- because NOLA was one heck of a weekend.

As soon as I got to the hotel I was greated by a massively hungover staff. It was great hearing about the night before. However, it fueled me to get the party started early.  We all got dress and ate at this oyster house and started drinking of course. It was 11am by the way. But hey- it's 5:00 somewhere. After that, we headed to the French Quarter to be touristy. We grabbed an alcoholic slushy for the walk. After I purchased a new wire ring, I headed to the casino with another stylist. Naturally we picked up a hand grenade for the walk back. It's supposed to be made of a bunch of liquor and nothing else but really it just tasted like sweet tarts. So I'm sipping on that when I come across Big Sexy. Big Sexy is a pretty large man in a cowboy hat with a leather bra on. He has a skirt on with fish nets and platform heels. And that's when I knew I was getting drunk. We stopped by the hotel to get some more drinks and continued to the casino. The best part of Nola is that you can walk around with alcohol all day long and not get in trouble. My group of friends would love life here.

We get to the casino and we grab a seat at the penny slots. I'm hooked. I spent $25 and won $100. Then about 5 minutes later I lost it all. Then I got up 60$ and I kinda lost count from then. We were in there 6 hours. I had no idea. I thought we were there for like an hour and a half. When you're gambling you get free drinks. Oh my goodness, we defiantly utilized that.

After we finally left the casino we met up with the rest of the salon staff and headed to see the first official mardi gra parade. Lucky for us they moved it up a week because of the Super Bowl. Pretty much every floats theme was derogatory towards the Super Bowl. I have never in my life seen so much penis and vagina related things- and I've been to PCB for spring break four years. I got my first set of beads there along with some Jell-O shots (gross- who would take those from a stranger in the street) and some marry Jane candy. After that my voice was pretty much a gonner.

While everyone else went to bed, I was still ready to go. So I stayed out with one of the other stylist who is gay. We head all the way down Burbon street, rightfully collecting beads on the way, to the gay bar.  This was also a first for me. After we got in we headed straight to the bar. On the bar there were tons of male dancers in very tight underwear. One made eye contact with me and started coming towards me. Naturally, my hands started sweating and I just stared and the ceiling yelling "I can't" until my drink was delivered. We drank and danced and finally decided we should probably head back to the hotel. Not before one final drink though, right? We were sitting at the bar when one of the little underwear men walked up. Crap. So I decide to get my picture with him because I felt like nobody back home would understand what was happening. Let me tell you...this man put his weenier on my leg. ON.MY.LEG. yes- I have the picture if any of you would like to see. On the long walk back to the hotel I suffered from Post Tramatic Stress Dissorder.

The next day the conference started. So the party didn't start til later that night. We decided not to eat dinner. Good idea, huh? We had some drinks in the room and talked about some uh.. Recreational..activities. After that we headed to my new favorite place in New Orleans, the casino. I didn't do well at all. Finally when I broke even I just stopped. Thank goodness for those free drinks or I would've been really pissed. We headed down Burbon again catching beads as we go when the best thing ever happened. One guy asked us to show our boobs when one of the other stylists yells "no, you show me your boobs". GOLDEN.  She got some beads for that. We kept making our way down and went back to the gay bar. We met some awesome people from Murfreesboro and danced all night with them. Before I knew it, it was just me and one other person from my salon there. So I decided to head back. Good thing the Murfreesboro people wouldn't let me walk alone. I took two different turns before I figured out where I was. But I stopped by the Krystal near our hotel and decided some chili cheese fries would be good. I can testify- chili cheese fries do not mix well with a beer and vodka diet. My insides were all twisted.

Over three nights I had only gotten a total of 9 hours of sleep. So Monday was a little delusional for me. As fun as New Orleans was I was excited to get back to Nashville and see my sweet cat and perfect roomie. I can honestly say, I came home from NOLA a changed woman. So many firsts or me: First plane ride, first casino, first gay bar, first set of beads, first PTSD experience. I had so much fun being there with my Lyndon's family. It really brought us so much closer and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to go. It's always nice to see the people who write your paychecks drunk as hell.

We weren't just there to party though. We were there to attend a conference called Serious Business. It was very inspirational and motivational. I'm going to tell y'all about all the wonderful things I learned there too very very soon. So keep checking in with me.

Until next time,
KND

Baby baby baby ohhh

This weekend was definitely one for the record books. I still haven't caught up on sleep..or completely detoxed from my alcohol diet...but I just really couldn't wait to tell everyone about it! 

         After what felt like I waited a lifetime, it was finally the day I got to see my man Justin Bieber in concert. If you don't already know, I have an almost embarrassing obsession for this guy. I blame my obsession on growing up with boy bands and young male singers like Jesse McCartney and Aaron Carter (thank you 90s-early 2000s). I was so nervous for some reason. It was like first date kind of nerves. I have no idea why though. Its not like I was going to meet him or even be remotely close to him.  Our seats were pretty bad. I'm talking section 301 in Bridgestone Arena bad. I'm pretty sure I could've touched a cloud. Don't don't let that fool you. I was screaming and singing like I was in the front row.  

          The night started out a little rough. We called the cab company at 5:30 to come scoop us up at 6:00. When it hit 6:15 we decided to give them a call to see if they were lost. The company told us to call them every ten minutes to see if any of the drivers were coming. Ugh, why should we do that? Just freaking send them. We waited and waited and had some Budlights and waited some more. Finally at 6:50 (the concert started at 7) the taxi driver showed up. So we finally pull up to Broadway when I realized I HAD LEFT MY PHONE AT MY APARTMENT. I died a little inside. I thrive off Twitter, texting, and Instagram. Knowing I wasn't going to be able to capture this concert was just tragic. Needless to say, as we entered and took the never ending escalater ride up I made sure to grab not one but two tall boys of beer. 

             Cody Simpson opened first. We missed most of it but I wasn't too upset considering I don't know the guy or any if his songs.  Then Carly Rae Jespen came on after him. She was pretty fun and entertaining.  She even grabbed some people and let them party on stage with her during her hit of the summer, "Call Me Maybe". I really liked her song "Heart Is A Muscle". After all that, it was time for my biebz to come on.

             Oh Justin. That guy has talent. He played the piano, the guitar, and the drums.  He sang all the songs I wanted him to play. He even sang a few with just acoustics. I love that. He engaged his audience. At one point he even grabbed the camera and showed what the audience looked like from his view. Dang it must be awesome to have that many people dying to see you. He danced all across the stage and even gave us some risky pelvis thrusts and body rolls. You know I wasn't mad about that. Meeeeowww. When he took his shirt off my eardrums almost busted.

          I will say... I'm in love but I'm not so head over heels that I won't admit that I can't stand his outfits sometimes. I just can't handle his pants. They're like skinny jean versions of mc hammer pants.  His last wardrobe change for his encore he came out with zebra striped pants like that with his red briefs showing and no shirt. Y'all, this is why he needs me. I would tell him that's not acceptable. But whatevz.

           I also want to tell y'all how awesome the staging was. The lighting was incredible. The stage set up was great. I love trap doors. His literally shot him and his backup dancers high in the air before they landed. He also had this crane that went above the audience that circled around so we cold see him better. I also really enjoyed that there was times where they showed home videos and his old YouTube videos. Those things just make me sink a little deeper in love. 

          All in all it was an amazing experience and I'm very thankful that I had the opportunity to go. Next time, I swear I will buy meet and greet passes because I just KNOW that if he ever met me he would fall in love. Also, I am aware that I'm 22 and I'm super creepy for being so obsessed with him. There ain't no shame in my game baby. 

Stay tooned to read about the rest if my weekend in New Orleans! 

Until next time,

KND

Quarter Life Crisis

After a couple of emotional breakdowns and a few bar talks with friends I've decided to write about the latest world wide epidemic: The Quarter Life Crisis. 

Ever since I can remember people have told me that my 20s are supposed to be the best years of my life. While I can honestly say I have lived a wonderful life, there is still something missing.  As a 20 something year old we are pressured by every aspect of life's roller coaster. We are supposed to have a great position in a career of our choice, the perfect relationship, and be financially stable.  There is so much pressure to be the perfect person that it makes people question themselves, their goals, and life in general. Self achievement and self worth are all casualties of the quarter life crisis and its easy to hide these worries through booze and tears. 

This past summer by best friend told our little clique about this awesome book by Christine Hassler called, "20 Something 20 Everything". It's all about finding who you really are and where you want to go in life.  At the time she told me about the book I was a single 21 year old senior in college. So, I thought I would give it a shot considering I was nearing the time to face the monsters of the real world. I got one chapter in and the book had already made me feel like my life was falling apart..or maybe that it had never started coming together. Either way, I closed the book and haven't opened it since. I'm not saying its a bad book-I wouldn't know. I'm saying I wasn't ready to look at my life like that.

Now I'm 22 with a degree in business management with two jobs doing what I love to do. Sounds great, right? Ha! Well here's the deal, I'm still dealing with the quarter life crisis. With social media at the center of the universe, I feel like every single time I get on Facebook or Twitter I am faced with another accomplishment of someone other than me. 

After engagement season- oh, I mean the holidays- it felt like I was the only single person left in the world. I think about the last two guys I've had in my life. One, was just too much and the other just wasn't enough. It made me feel like I wasn't meant to find anyone. It was like my life was a reoccuring episode of The Bachelor where I didnt get the rose at the end of the night. That's the kind of crisis 20 something year olds are facing all the time. Thanks to another one of my best friends who comforted me via a hysterical phone call through probably one of the most dramatic breakdowns I have ever had, I've come to realize falling in love doesn't HAVE to happen at the same age for everyone. Some people find their love (like my perfect chi omega little sister) in high school. Others, like me perhaps, are meant to do something in life that just simply doesn't permit a relationship at this time. That doesn't mean something is wrong you. Trust me, I know better than anyone it's just hard to grasp that concept.

As far as jobs go, college students are expected to know exactly what they are going to do with their lives right after graduation. The fact is, that's just asking for too much. We enter college at 17/18 years old. We are told to pick a concentration and thats what we are expected to do for the rest of our lives. I'm sure it was much easier when men were expected work the coal mines and women were supposed to stay at home and care for the house and children. Now, men and women are competing for the same jobs and steadily moving up the ladder side by side.  Knowing that, it's hard on 20 something year olds to figure out where they fit and what job best suits them. That's why so many people switch degrees, go to different colleges after they graduate, or just wind up in a completely different field than the degree they paid so much money to get.  Fortunately for me, I love being a hairstylist. I'm lucky enough to have two jobs doing what I love to do. If y'all know me at all, you know I went to college solely for the experience. However, someday I hope to use that piece of paper that put me $14000 in debt to open my own salon. Here's to big goals, huh?

Speaking of money, why the heck are we expected to be financially stable at this age? I have two jobs and still find myself looking under the seat of my car to find lost quarters (I love quarters by the way).  With no money in my bank account, I will still go out on Saturdays and buy my friends a round of shots to celebrate the smallest things. I indulge in endless amounts of margarita pitchers  just because the local Mexican restaurant is having a special. I buy clothes I don't need, go to expensive movies, and eat out far too often. But you know what, I seriously don't care.  Apparently at this age we are supposed to be preparing for our future. We're supposed to budget our lives in order to start saving for that wedding we have pinned on Pinterest or that dream home we pinned. I don't know about you but I'd rather not have a pot to pee in but have a good time than save all my money and wither away watching reruns of murder shows for the rest of my life. 

I suppose the best advice I can give is to come to grips with the fact that life isn't perfect for everyone at this age. Some people cruise though life in a brand new Escalade while others take the bumpy road on the struggle bus. The pressure is inevitable. The outlook of it all is what truly defines you. If you're like me, you're going to break down. Life is hard. That's the facts. Getting back on your feet and finding the greener side is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just know that your not alone when you feel like things aren't falling into place for you.

Until next time,

KND

Cheater Cheater

Here lately it seems like the world is obsessed with love- find it, being in it, or getting over it. But are people jumping into relationships just to be a part of something? To feel like they are loved? That answer is pretty obvious to me- HELL YES. Maybe its because the months of November through February are the single persons nightmare.

So people find themselves in these relationships that don't make them happy. Some stick it out, some break it off, and some are so unhappy they cheat until they're caught. If you are genuinely happy in your relationship and the way things are panning out for you and your partner then you wouldn't feel the need for some sweet release such as cheating.

I'm sure you can think of multiple people who have been cheated on or have cheated on someone. That person might even be you. It seems like it happens all the time. What goes through people's minds to think such activity is ok? What makes people think they are so sneaky that they can get away with it. News flash cheaters... someone will find out. At that point, if you are the cheater you should make a run for it. Let me tell you, if anything happened like that to one of my girls I can promise you a parade of angry pitch fork holding hormone enraged women would come to take care of business.

So lets talk about the different kinds of cheaters

The "it's just flirting" cheater-  texting is harmless in most cases. However it is the content of such texts that make you a cheater even if there is no actual physical contact. Any sexual conversation that is exchanged makes you one step closer to making the physical mistake. And FYI: sending snapchats of you, your body, or your package is not ok. .. And unless you look like Ryan Gosling or James Franco- just don't. You're embarrassing yourself. Oh and keep in mind, if you have to delete messages so your girlfriend or boyfriend won't see it then you know you're doing something wrong.

The "ex" cheater- now this is a two part category. First, the cheater who has a past of cheating. Oh come on, we have all heard it before, once a cheater- always a cheater. Sure giving people he benefit of the doubt is awesome and more power to those people who don't have trust issues. But it makes me so sad for my girl Kelly Clarkson. Her recent engagement is to a man who got a divorce from his previous wife for his actions of infidelity. Tragic. It's hard to be happy for a girl who is essentially signing her life away to a man with a nasty past.
The second part of this category is a person who cheats on his or her partner with their ex. Everyone wants to think of themselves as an upgrade. How crappy is that that your being cheated on by a person you trust and love with someone they talk shit about? Low blow, y'all.

The "it didn't mean anything" cheater- just shut up, you're an idiot.

The married man- really? Do vows mean nothing? Does the unity of two people becoming one in the name of a higher power mean nothing? This one hits home. Marriage is something we all dream of. We dream to live happily ever after with white picket fences and children playing with puppies until its time to sit down as a family and eat dinner together. Yeah.... That's rare. Men, how many times do you plan to get on one knee? Women, how many times do you plan to teach your children who daddy is? If you're married, especially if you have children, and you feel the need to cheat.. I just can't handle you. You should reevaluate your life.

What makes cheaters think they are so desirable? What makes them think they deserve more than hat they already have? And why the hell do they think its ok to put someone through that? Just break up with them. Not to mention, there is a ton of slores in world. You having relations with other people and bringing it back to the bedroom with your partner is unthoughtful, dangerous, and disgusting. Which inevitably makes you disgusting, cheater.


Until next time,
KND

The Bachelor

As much as I love a good football game I have no ties to Bama or Fighting Irish so needless to say I found myself glued to ABC to endulge in Sean's beauty. If you're a true red blooded American then you know good and well the first episode of The Bachelor is solely there to rip into beautiful single women with our jealous and judgemental ways. But let's be real.... Some of those girls are just embarrassing. I never really understand how all these beautiful women are single.. But then again this show gives meaning to the term beauty is only skin deep. I am here to tell ya, crazy is to the bone.

 Lets start out strong with the ultimate train wreck, Ashley P. ummmm no girl is seriously THAT obsessed with fifty shades of gray. If any of you have read this book you know it's horribly written but its fun because it brings out the sexy desire to have a relationship that's kinky or wrong in all the right ways. Well listen here Ashley P.  your first impression was just embarrassing. Pulling out a tie and questioning the beautiful blond hair blue eyed Sean if he can teach you how to use that is just unacceptable. It also doesn't help that you pulled the whole "it's just me and my cat" thing. it just doesn't look good for us single girls left in the world. I'm also embarrassed that you're in front of 25 other girls you've never met as well as Sean (oh and the millions of viewers sitting in their living room) and you're insanely drunk and twerking it all around the house. It's also probably not a good sign that Sean told you he brought a rape whistle.

The next notable mistake was Lindsay. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Wearing a wedding dress does not mean you "have balls". It means you're physco. Lindsay also kissed him on the lips the moment she met him. I just want to know why she thought that was a joke?

Lindsay should've taken tips from Lesley. Faking a football play to see a little booty was so funny and showed a playful side which all dudes love. Lindsay better thank her lucky stars he gave her a rose tonight and I'm looking forward to seeing if any more craziness comes out of her.

Another disappointment was Kelly. Kelly is from Nashville so I automatically want to root for her. However, I want to run my fingers through her curls while I tell her that singing a song about her and Sean the first time they met us just creepy. I understand these girls want to make an impression on him and want him to remember them.. But I just can't condone such activity. If she was out at a bar on Broadway one Nashville night I can guarantee singing to a man is not how she would get his attention. I'm not surprised she didn't get a rose.

Thankfully, the beautiful and humble Kacie B. is back and representing my hometown of Clarksville.

Also- is it just me or did Ashley H. Look like Nicki Minaj's little sister? And to the girl (I can't remember her name) who was wearing a gold gown and thought it was ok to attempt two back handsprings.. You should've known better. That fall was atrocious.

Until next time y'all,

KD

Twitter

By the way, follow me on Twitter
@Kendyldavis

Well this should be fun..

Welcome to my blog, y'all!
I don't really know why I wanted to blog but I feel like I have nothing to lose. For my first entry I just want to tell everyone a little about myself and my blogging intentions.
I'm 22 years old and a recent graduate from Austin Peay State University where I was a member of Chi Omega women's fraternity. I am a hairstylist and have been in the industry for nearly five years. I recently moved to Nashville in hopes of finding whatever is missing in my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy, feel good type of lady, but I just felt like I meant to do more than melt away in the same small town I was born in. With that said, I hope to entertain you all with stories of my wild adventures through life. I never take life too seriously and making people laugh (even at my own embarrassing expense) is one of those things that keeps me on the "greener" side of life. Hope you all enjoy!