Ever since I can remember people have told me that my 20s are supposed to be the best years of my life. While I can honestly say I have lived a wonderful life, there is still something missing. As a 20 something year old we are pressured by every aspect of life's roller coaster. We are supposed to have a great position in a career of our choice, the perfect relationship, and be financially stable. There is so much pressure to be the perfect person that it makes people question themselves, their goals, and life in general. Self achievement and self worth are all casualties of the quarter life crisis and its easy to hide these worries through booze and tears.
This past summer by best friend told our little clique about this awesome book by Christine Hassler called, "20 Something 20 Everything". It's all about finding who you really are and where you want to go in life. At the time she told me about the book I was a single 21 year old senior in college. So, I thought I would give it a shot considering I was nearing the time to face the monsters of the real world. I got one chapter in and the book had already made me feel like my life was falling apart..or maybe that it had never started coming together. Either way, I closed the book and haven't opened it since. I'm not saying its a bad book-I wouldn't know. I'm saying I wasn't ready to look at my life like that.
Now I'm 22 with a degree in business management with two jobs doing what I love to do. Sounds great, right? Ha! Well here's the deal, I'm still dealing with the quarter life crisis. With social media at the center of the universe, I feel like every single time I get on Facebook or Twitter I am faced with another accomplishment of someone other than me.
After engagement season- oh, I mean the holidays- it felt like I was the only single person left in the world. I think about the last two guys I've had in my life. One, was just too much and the other just wasn't enough. It made me feel like I wasn't meant to find anyone. It was like my life was a reoccuring episode of The Bachelor where I didnt get the rose at the end of the night. That's the kind of crisis 20 something year olds are facing all the time. Thanks to another one of my best friends who comforted me via a hysterical phone call through probably one of the most dramatic breakdowns I have ever had, I've come to realize falling in love doesn't HAVE to happen at the same age for everyone. Some people find their love (like my perfect chi omega little sister) in high school. Others, like me perhaps, are meant to do something in life that just simply doesn't permit a relationship at this time. That doesn't mean something is wrong you. Trust me, I know better than anyone it's just hard to grasp that concept.
As far as jobs go, college students are expected to know exactly what they are going to do with their lives right after graduation. The fact is, that's just asking for too much. We enter college at 17/18 years old. We are told to pick a concentration and thats what we are expected to do for the rest of our lives. I'm sure it was much easier when men were expected work the coal mines and women were supposed to stay at home and care for the house and children. Now, men and women are competing for the same jobs and steadily moving up the ladder side by side. Knowing that, it's hard on 20 something year olds to figure out where they fit and what job best suits them. That's why so many people switch degrees, go to different colleges after they graduate, or just wind up in a completely different field than the degree they paid so much money to get. Fortunately for me, I love being a hairstylist. I'm lucky enough to have two jobs doing what I love to do. If y'all know me at all, you know I went to college solely for the experience. However, someday I hope to use that piece of paper that put me $14000 in debt to open my own salon. Here's to big goals, huh?
Speaking of money, why the heck are we expected to be financially stable at this age? I have two jobs and still find myself looking under the seat of my car to find lost quarters (I love quarters by the way). With no money in my bank account, I will still go out on Saturdays and buy my friends a round of shots to celebrate the smallest things. I indulge in endless amounts of margarita pitchers just because the local Mexican restaurant is having a special. I buy clothes I don't need, go to expensive movies, and eat out far too often. But you know what, I seriously don't care. Apparently at this age we are supposed to be preparing for our future. We're supposed to budget our lives in order to start saving for that wedding we have pinned on Pinterest or that dream home we pinned. I don't know about you but I'd rather not have a pot to pee in but have a good time than save all my money and wither away watching reruns of murder shows for the rest of my life.
I suppose the best advice I can give is to come to grips with the fact that life isn't perfect for everyone at this age. Some people cruise though life in a brand new Escalade while others take the bumpy road on the struggle bus. The pressure is inevitable. The outlook of it all is what truly defines you. If you're like me, you're going to break down. Life is hard. That's the facts. Getting back on your feet and finding the greener side is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just know that your not alone when you feel like things aren't falling into place for you.
Until next time,
KND
Well-said! And 20-somethings don't have the corner on this market; 50-somethings feel this way, too. We all are on the 'struggle bus' through this ride called Life. Good thing is, we are not alone.
ReplyDeleteLiving a patient life has been really tough for me. I've had to make some big changes and be open to the fact that not every job, relationship, opportunity is going to be perfect. I hope you continue to blog! I really enjoyed your reflection and hope I get a haircut from you one day!
ReplyDeleteGood post! Glad I found your blog :)
ReplyDeleteWell said, Kendyl. You have a really great voice in your writing!
ReplyDelete-Hannah